Christmas is a time of year when many people's thoughts turn to being with the ones who are dear to their hearts. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be with a partner at this time of year. Those people have two options. They can accept that they are single, and enjoy being with their friends and their families, or they can start to make a plan for finding love at Christmas.

Those who are single often talk about finding their 'soul mate,' but in reality they are looking for a 'life mate.' There is a difference. A soul mate is very rarely someone with whom there is an intimate and physical relationship. They are not sent to be a lover. This is because the purpose of a soul mate is to elevate the spirit during this incarnation, enabling it to grow and evolve. Soul mates, therefore by their very nature, vibrate on a higher energy connection than that of a life mate. To lower that vibration to a physical level would be to taint it. Soul mates are usually people with whom there is a profound, yet platonic, connection; parents, children, teachers, friends.

Another phase used when it comes to searching for a life partner is 'twin flame.' This is something different yet again. A twin flame is similar to a spiritual twin. Just as it would not be expected for twin siblings to have an intimate physical relationship, it is highly unlikely that there would be that kind of closeness with a spiritual twin, either.

Some people talk about being 'kindred spirits,' and this is closer to the kind of spiritual relationship that can be found with a life mate. When someone is a kindred spirit, it means that their soul is on a harmonious vibration with the other person's spirit. They share the same interests, and perhaps may be from the same soul family.

So what does all of this have to do with finding love at Christmas? Well, for one, it's imperative to ask for what is desired. If a life mate is being sought, then it doesn't make sense to talk about soul mates or twin flames. Intent is everything when it comes to attracting what is truly wanted.

Next, act on that intent. No one is going to knock on the door or extend dinner invitations if they do not know that the other party is willing. The information and the desire have to be out there in order for someone to act upon it. Remember, energy connects everything. The energy of willfulness has to be known in order to invoke a response.

Finally, understand that people like to be with happy, confident people. Very few are going to notice a wallflower, and misery will actually push people away, or attract those who are only going to take advantage of that misery and compound it in the long run. It's very easy to find someone who will take what they want and then leave by being too urgent for love; it is only by being confident and self-assured that the right people take notice.

It's all about energy. If the energy around social activities is jaded, if the same people are stale and no longer interesting, change it. Go to new places; meet new people. It's easy to do this during the holidays because there are so many things happening. Take a class, join a club, start a hobby, or volunteer somewhere. Actually doing something changes the energy, raises the vibration, and starts to get things moving again.

Finding love at Christmas isn't hard, but it has to start with self. Self-confidence creates a charisma that attracts the right kind of attention from the right kind of people. Like energy always attracts like energy. The gift of self-confidence could be just what is needed to ensure that love isn't found just at Christmas, but that it lasts long after the presents are unwrapped.